Catch up from last weeks here!
I made it through the family cruise without having to tell anyone. But, like I mentioned, it had to happen at some point. Tyson had talked me out of running away. He obviously saw the stupidity in my plan and helped me see that although it will be hard, I will get through it and when I do, it’ll be okay. However, at this moment I was still in the thick of it and all that happy ending stuff was hard to believe.
DM and I had talked, he wanted to be a part of it, he loved me, but we weren’t together. We weren’t engaged. We didn’t want to do that just because of the baby. We didn’t want to have a shot gun wedding. We wanted to get married on our own terms. I wanted to marry him. I knew that from a while ago. But I didn’t want to be married to him if he didn’t want to marry me. So I left it in his hands.
Now my parents. My parents love me and support me. They are kind, loving people however, this wasn’t in their life plan. To have a daughter get pregnant before marriage. I don’t blame them, this wasn’t in my life plan either. And I know some people won’t agree with me here, and that’s okay. I still believe that sex was intended for marriage. I believe that within those confines, it’s’ a beautiful, awesome thing. Outside of it, it can cause problems and tear you apart. I learned that the hard way.
I was in my room and I called my mom up. I knew she’d be easier than my dad. I had my head in the pillow and I just kinda blurted it out. Honestly, it’s all such a blur. I told her, she was upset, she went downstairs and told me dad and then he came up and we all talked. It wasn’t a happy talk it was a tough, I-hate-my-life talk.
They made it their mission to tell the rest of the family so that I didn’t have to. It wasn’t what they would have chosen for their daughter. It wasn’t how they raised me. They were disappointed. But the way the dropped all that pain and hurt and just loved and supported me was out of this world. I am very appreciative to have the parents I do.
There are some details that I’ll keep private mainly because they’re hard to explain over a keyboard and because my husband would kill me if I shared them. I’m an overshar-er and he reigns me in. But if you ever meet me in person and are curious to know, go ahead and ask and I’ll probably tell you.
It was about a month after I found out that I was pregnant and DM hadn’t made any moves. We were together again… I guess.. but that was it. nd really, after everything we’d been through and now a baby, if he didn’t know by now, he’d never know. Crap or get off the pot! I knew I had to step back and give him time.
It was about 3 days and these were one of the hardest of my life too. Lots of prayer time, lots of reflection. There were two things that would happen. He would say he loves me and we’d get married or he’d say he didn’t want to marry me and I would be a single mom. I had to wrestle with the idea of being a single mom for those couple days and it was hard. But I really knew that the Lord had the best plan for my life. I really knew that if he came back and said he didn’t want to marry me, than that was the better option. Because of course at this time that’s what I wanted. But I also didn’t want to be in a marriage against the Lord’s will. Or be married to a man I really shouldn’t be. So I took my hands out of the situation (which is super hard for me) and left it up to DM.
He wanted to marry me.
On the way home from looking at rings he wrote me a little note. It read:
Will you marry me? Check the right box.
Let’s just say I didn’t marry the most romantic man on the planet but I did marry a really, really good one. He loves me and he loves me well. I know I have his whole heart and he’d do almost anything for me. As long as I’m not too ridiculous for me.
Our son was born March 23rd, 2007 and I look at that huge 9-year-old now and I don’t know what I’d do without him. He is such a blessing and I am so honored to be his momma, even if he came about in an difficult way.
Same with my marriage. Let me tell you, it isn’t easy. I love that man with all my heart but our marriage has been hard. I hesitate to write about it because no one likes to hear about the negative things. But then on the flip side I want to write about it because so often on social media we see these lovey dovey couples all over the place and it’s easy to think “man what’s wrong with our marriage?”
I won’t write more about it now, but if you have a difficult marriage, just know you are not alone. Marriage is hard, I don’t care who you are. Maybe easier for some, but if it is hard, that’s okay. It’s okay to fight for something. It’s okay to have to work hard to make it work. It’s tiring. It’s exhausting. But it’s so, so worth it.
That’s basically the end of our love story! I married him, we moved to France and had another baby and lived happily ever after (minus all the hard, nasty stuff! lol!) July 28th marks 9 years of marriage with my man and I still feel giddy about him being mine. I still think he’s hot and I still am proud to stand next to him in life!
I’m going to see if I can share his side of the story to create another installment or two of the love story. I also am really curious to hear it! Also, leave in the comments if you’d like to read more about marriage on the blog.