After declaring I would never be able to marry Delivery Man, I was pretty convinced. I mean, he was the kinda guy you dated, not marry. He was fun and cute – who am I kidding, he was hot – but with everything that had happened so far, it was just too much. I never saw us truly being together. Hindsight is 20/20 and although I was right, we’d been through (and would go through) a lot, I can see now that was the only way we actually could be together at all. But back to the story.
Delivery Man was a friend at this point. We had fun chatting on the phone, occasionally getting a bite to eat after intramural games but it really wasn’t any more. In the meantime there was this other boy. He was nice to me, was two years older than me, and played soccer for the college. He liked me and I thought it would be nice to give another guy a try besides Delivery Man since that wasn’t going anywhere.
I went to a small private college where if you went on one date with someone people were asking when the wedding was. I wasn’t like that. I just wanted to hang out with people and have fun. I hung out with guys, I casually dated a few here and there, nothing serious. I think I was being a relatively normal college girl at this point, but not at this school. You go on two different dates with two different guys you were branded as ‘getting around’ if you know what I mean. In my innocence, I didn’t understand the repercussions of this until later. When the crap would hit the fan.
I dated this guy for a whole two weeks. If that. To be honest, I can’t even remember. My husband says it’s because I dated so many guys, I think it’s just because I have a bad memory. We’ll just leave that topic alone.
It didn’t last long. He dumped me. And I cried. The only other guy I can remember crying about in college. I can’t really pinpoint why I cried because for heaven’s sake, it was like two weeks! But I guessed I like the slightly jerky kinda guy and who likes getting dumped?
Either way, I didn’t cry for long and summer was coming upon us. This year, Delivery Man told me, that he was staying in the States most of the summer. Cool! He had to stay between campus and with some close family friends – Antonia and Tom. They were like his home-away-from-home. They took him in when he had no family in The States and treated him like a son.
Towards the end of the school year he started calling more. Maybe he knew I was available or maybe he was scared of being way to bored over the summer, either way, I kinda liked it. No matter who I dated, I still couldn’t shake this guy. I really didn’t know what it was. No boy had ever had this hold on me!
During the summer we spent a lot of time with some friends, hanging out, watching movies in the park (broke college student date night), and spa hopping. He didn’t feel like spending too much time at my parents house, I can’t imagine why, so we spent most of the time out at the college. He was a lot more careful about what time of night I made it home though…
We were pretty much dating but with no title. This bothered me quite a bit and him not nearly as much. He was okay just “kickin’ it” and wasn’t in a big hurry to make me his girl. Granted, I wasn’t willing to walk away even without getting the commitment that I wanted.
Young single ladies – if he won’t commit, hold out! You ARE worth it!
For whatever reason that didn’t click to the young 19-year-old Natalia. School started again and things were back to normal. We were kinda, sorta dating but with no title, I was sitting out a season of volleyball because I had a partially torn Achilles tendon (which SUCKED), and school was in full swing.
Like I mentioned, we went to a very conservative college. So conservative that not only was it separate dorms for boys and girls, there were certain nights, once a month, you could visit the opposite sex in their dorm rooms for a limited amount of time. One of the first open dorms of the year I decided to go visit Delivery Man in his room. Lauren had decided to stay in for the night so it was just me. I get to the room to find out that he had been hanging out in his ex’s room! You know, the one that he chose over me? The one he made his girlfriend so quickly and he still hadn’t said those words to me? Ya, that one. I was pretty upset. Because he did it, because I was threatened and insecure (rightly so) of him hanging out with her. I got mad, said a few choice words and stormed out the door.
Me: “That’s it. I am so done. I can’t believe you’d do this to me again! Don’t worry about calling me, or talking to me, or whatever, I don’t want to hear from you any more!! Leave me ALONE!”
DM: He actually followed me out the door, which is actually a big amount of effort for him to put forward. He does not chase girls. “Girl, chill, please. Stop.”
I, of course, stopped because of that silly power he had over me. I couldn’t bring myself to just run off, I had to hear what he had to say.
DM: “I was just saying hi to her. She is dating someone else now, it’s not even like that. You’re all worried for nothing, come here.”
Me: “Really? Who then?” I was still a little pissed.
DM: “Another dude who doesn’t go here. He’s from her home town. Girl, you’re trippin’ for no reason.”
Me: I just sat there. I didn’t know what to do. I was slightly embarrassed I had reacted so heatedly, and slightly not believing him at all.
DM: “I actually wanted to ask you something. I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”
My mind was reeling. Is he serious? Is he just messing with me? This can’t be real. I had wanted to date this guy since he walked into the dorm hall to bring me lunch. And now here I am, about a year and a half later, and he’s asking me to be his girl? What do I say??
Me: “Can I think about it?”
DM: “Ya, sure. Just let me know.” He was always so cool, calm, and collected.
I walked back down into the dorm, woke up Lauren who was fast asleep and said “Oh my gosh, Laur – he asked me to be his girlfriend.”
I still had to think about it.