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On being a mom


When I was young I never dreamed of getting married. I never had a checklist of qualities I wanted in a guy. I never imagined my wedding, the colors, or where it would be.

Before I was a mother, I didn’t think about having kids. I didn’t pick baby names or colors for a future nursery.

You may call it selfish. I didn’t think much past what was happening then in my life. I didn’t have big dreams for my future, to be a stay-at-home mom, cook dinner every night, & support my husband.

Not that those things are bad, they aren’t. In fact, that is exactly what I do now-a-days.

But when I think back to when I was younger & try to remember what it was that I did think about, I remember one specific situation.

I was with my best friend from high school at a play in Hollywood. We were eating dinner or waiting outside or something, I can’t remember exactly. I saw this woman walk by. She was wearing a business suit, nice pumps, & carrying a briefcase. I remember saying “I don’t know what she does, but that’s what I want to be when I grow up.”

I wanted to be something. I wanted to run something, be in charge of someone, have my own company, do my own thing. I still want those things. And as hard as I try, I can’t run my husband, he is allll man. (and a good one at that)

So I sit here, writing a sort of confessional to you all.

I never wanted to be a mom. I never cared. It wasn’t on my to-do list.

I wanted to travel the world, see other countries, & experience other cultures.

I wanted to be free and independent and have my own thing,

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. With all my heart, a way I never knew I could love. And I have a good man as a husband who does everything he can to make sure I have some freedom.

It’s just that you read all these blogs about women who have only ever wanted to be a mom. Who have dreamed of becoming a wife and are now living the dream.

I can’t be the only one that wants more. I can’t be the only one who loves my littles but needs a sense of self, a sense of independence.

Truth be told, I want to conquer the world.

I know I am where God has me. I know he gave me kids for a reason. And even though sometimes I question whether or not I am fit to be a mom, I have to trust in God’s purpose & plan and he gave me my babes.

Now the ultimate test of balance. I want to love my kids and give them the world and create a memorable childhood for them. But I also want to run a business, bring in some moolah, & be independent.

I guess I kind of gave up the independence card when I got married, but there’s still a fire in my heart.

Sometimes I wish it was my dream, to be a wife & mom. Because then I’d be living the dream! I’d love laundry & cooking & serving my husband! Life would be so easy & fulfilling.

But I know my personality can’t be all that bad, it is what the Lord gave to me. But trying to find a balance between that fire in my heart to do something more and realizing that this is where I am now. This is my job now. It is number one.

So please tell me I am not the only one out there who’s felt this way? Whose dream wasn’t to be a wife and a mom but finds herself there.

And for those women out there balancing work/marriage/kids/life – what’s your trick? Any advice from this unorganized momma? I could really use some help!

60 Responses to On being a mom

  1. the domestic fringe January 22, 2013 at 7:04 am #

    Nope. You are most certainly not the only one. Recently I’ve been battling similar ideas, the desire to be more, do more, go more…all of it.

    I don’t have any answers yet. Sorry. I’m still here, in the middle of it all; however, I think each day brings a clearer vision. I suspect balance is learned with time. God puts desires in our heart for a purpose, so don’t ignore them.

    • Natalia January 22, 2013 at 7:53 am #

      Thank you so much for that. So encouraging. “God puts desires in our heart for a purpose, so don’t ignore them.” I love that. Because I know he made me this way, I can’t be all that bad. But finding a balance of it all. Thanks for your encouragement!

  2. Kelly January 22, 2013 at 7:23 am #

    Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh Natalia!  I think for the longest time I tried to fit into that mold of june clever b/c i thought that’s how I had to be!!!  I thought that’s what a Godly wife and mother should be.  I had the SAME dream.  I dreamed of working in a highrise glass building, having an office and wearing a suit to work every day.  I did get that dream but even that wasn’t enough.  Because I was going after all of that for the wrong reasons.  Selfish reasons.  Now that I am home but also doing blogging and Mary Kay along with being a mom and a wife I feel a lot better about myself.  I feel like I can set those personal/ professional goals for myself and strive to attain them but my life is more balanced.  It’s funny how life turns out isn’t it!  Love ya girl!

    • Natalia January 22, 2013 at 7:52 am #

      Thank you Kelly! So encouraging!I did the whole office thing before I was married & loved it. I had my own money, I had my own schedule. I had no idea what I was getting myself into getting married & having a baby. I would change it, but it is hard for me sometimes. But you’re right about being selfish, I think, well I know, I am selfish too. It sucks because it’s something I feel like I really need to fight because it comes too natural. ugh. But this blog has definitely given me an outlet, I am now making money from it & it’s been great. I just get caught up in wanting it to be bigger, to be better. I need to chill out I think.

  3. jimmie lee January 22, 2013 at 7:35 am #

    Natalia, I don’t have any tips or tricks as i am still figuring it all out. But I will say that before I got pregnant with my first {and I was very young} I would say i didn’t want kids. I found myself pregnant and my whole world changed. I still strived to accomplish goals and my parents made it possible for me to obtain my master’s degree. But now I don’t use it. {well i use it part-time} I always thought I would be a full-time working mom, that was the plan anyway. But then I had my second son and I realized that even though I wouldn’t be a “good” SAHM I wanted to spend time and be with him as much as possible. Something changed in me. It’s weird. 
    I also want to say that you do run something, you are in charge. If you are anything like me {even though your hubs is allll Man and a good man} you pretty much run the ship when it comes to your home. You are a manager, amongst many other things. I hate dishes and cleaning and laundry and I always will but those things need done weather you are working or not , haha! 
    I don’t know what the secret is. But i am pretty independent, When I was craving that notion of not losing myself, I started a blog! Well, I hope you do find some contentment and remember your babies won’t be babies forever and you will have plenty of time to run that business 🙂
    PS I am not super organized either 😉

    • Natalia January 22, 2013 at 7:49 am #

      You’re right. You’re so right. The problem is all those things laundry, cleaning, organizing. I don’t like them. It’s not the kind of thing I want to run. But i understand your point in that it’s my job now, be good at it. I am very independent so it’s hard to be the homemaker and dependent on my husband. But thankfully I married a good man who doesn’t make me feel dependent & I am not making enough money from my blog to pay for things! And you reminder about my babies not being small forever. You’re so right. I can’t believe my 5 yr old is already 5 – almost 6! Definitely not a baby anymore. I need to enjoy them

  4. Erin @ A Crafty Cook January 22, 2013 at 9:56 am #

    For a long time I didn’t know what I wanted out of life. I kind of wanted to go to school and have an adventurous career that would let me see the world. Even today I tell my self if I were to have a chance to go to graduate I’d love to study archaeology. I honestly don’t think I had dreams of being a mother until college was coming to and end when I started seeing some of my friends get married and have kids. That wasn’t the direction my life was headed at that time and I got a chance to live in another country for a while.  My life has again switched directions and I find myself with two kids. I love being a mother and I couldn’t ask for a better life, but as much as I love being a mother I’ll never love doing the laundry. I long for some of that adventure I wanted before, to see the world, and maybe someday I’ll get that chance. For now, I get the chance to love my babies and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. Anyway, long story short, You aren’t the only one.

    • Natalia January 22, 2013 at 4:46 pm #

      Thank you for your encouragement. You really have a great way of looking at things too. I want to do other things, but I get to love and raise my babies now. Glad to know I’m not alone, thanks!

  5. Marie January 22, 2013 at 9:59 am #

    It’s like you took the words outta my brain and put it on your post…I feel exactly the same. I totally relate.
    I was that girl who hated kids and never thought of marriage. I had no real plans for my future, yet I eventually became that mom and wife. And now, just like you, I still have that same dream of wanting to do something great and conquer the world. It’s hard but I think we’ll be able to do it one day, and I see nothing wrong in wanting more, and wanting to achieve more. 🙂

    • Natalia January 22, 2013 at 4:36 pm #

      Thank you! It is nice to know I am not alone in feeling this way!

  6. Marlana January 22, 2013 at 10:06 am #

     After some soul searching in my life, I have realized a few things…first, it’s okay to be who you are. If you are a woman who just wants to be a mom and wife, that’s great.  If you want something more, that’s great too.  Each of us needs to find what completes us as individuals.  Our society has made it seem that if a father wants to pursue something, he is doing what he should be doing as a man.  If a mother wants to pursue anything for herself, she is being selfish. I think most women carry at least a little of that line of thinking with them. But, wanting to define yourself as more than a wife and mother does not make you a bad one or any less of one.  Grant yourself permission to find the rest of you.  You’re not leaving the other parts behind, you are enhancing who you are as an individual and that will in turn enhance all the aspects of your life.  You would want your children to be the best versions of themselves…why not show them by example?  Take your whole family on this journey with you. Ask for their input. Share your dreams, fears, accomplishments with them.  In doing so, you may be teaching them to dream too. 
    Second, in searching on the outside, never forget to be thankful for the blessings on the inside. You have a wonderful man and great kids that are a blessing.  But, while your husband and children are a tremendous part of your life, the most important part of your life, they do not need to be your entire life.  It’s okay to be Natalia too.  Not the wife, not the mom, but just the woman.

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:22 am #

      Thank you so much for this. I need this encouragement. I think you’re right that for whatever reason moms carry a sense of guilt all the time. If they’re not perfect, if they want some time alone, if they want to pursue a dream. I am living in France right now because my husband is pursuing his dream, and I am happy to do it for him. I know he is happy to help me pursue my dreams as well & he understands balance with the kids even better than I do! I also loved that you said to involve them in it with me. I have boys in my house & they aren’t always interested in fashion etc. but it would be fun to hear their input! Thanks for your advice, I truly appreciate it!

      • sarah February 5, 2013 at 1:14 am #

        Hi there  Natalia  i  have only been a member  for 1 week now and just wanted to compliment u on how brilliant u r with different hair styles.. I cant believe how stupid & totally non creative i am, and that i have  wasted 18 yrs  in having the long hair that i have  got. Concerning my hair, i am not blowing my own trumpet though everyone  who  i know  &  complete strangers tell me that my hair is beautiful, it is, but i dont / cant do anything at all with it,, I wear it in the middle and have no layers really apart from at the back right at the bottom so that u can see the black color that i have colored underneath & then bleach foil highlights over the rest. My hair is that straight it wont even curl, they just dropped as soon as the roller comes out, even had a hairdresser use heated tongs, that stayed a bit wavey for 20 mins theb back to straight. It used to b very very think, but not anymore, thou i woudnt say its dead thin either. The length at the back is down to the top of my back side, so maybe its just too long now? I would love to see all thoses styles that u do on my hair, i just need my own personnel  helper, that helper being u..U r seriously just great. I take it u r American??  I am English & lives in England to. Did u train to do hair the way u do??  I am also totally useless in putting make up on, it honestly does not stay on me, i use Max Factor, Maybelline, &  Rimmel  so they r not the cheap basic  products.. Anyway keep going with your excellent work x

        • Natalia February 8, 2013 at 5:47 am #

          Hi! Maybe you could try to cut it a little and try some layers, often that helps lighten the hair a little bit. It might take more shape that way. You could try sleeping with your hair a certain way to see if that will hold curls. Some people’s hair doesn’t hold curls with heat but will hold it when you sleep on it a certain way. Try my no heat curls tutorial. As far as makeup goes, make sure your face is as oil free as possible. Try using a toning product that really dries it up & then a lightweight moisturizer. Then you can also apply a primer. Makeup forever or smashbox have good ones. Hope this helps!

  7. Heather January 22, 2013 at 11:06 am #

    I appreciate your honesty! This is amazing! I am 28 and don’t have kids yet. I have dreamed of motherhood since I was young but haven’t checked off the box yet. I often struggle with feeling guilty about pursuing an education and a career prior to starting my family, but this helped me see that I am not alone in my efforts and it’s OK to be different… Thank you! 

    • Natalia January 22, 2013 at 4:32 pm #

      Yes of course! And as much of these comments here are reminding me, there are seasons in life for everything! Embrace where you are at now!

  8. Shaughn January 22, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    You most definetly not the only person who has those same feelings, dreams, thoughts, ect…
    I myself don’t have the answers either, I feel like I’m in a “rut” myself. I’m a mother, wife, business woman, cook, maid and sometimes a therapist and massage therapist too! I never had those dreams of becoming a mom or wife either. I never dreamed of my wedding day, or colors of a nursery either. I love my husband and children with all my heart. I worked in the same job I got shortly after my youngest started school, my kids are now 18 and 20. I stayed home with them for several years too and had to go to work and find some independence as well. I had that job for 16 years and it was a decent paying job, great benefits, sick and vacation and holidays paid, but I wasn’t happy doing what I was doing, over the past 16 years I had gotten the job for independence and the benefits but a fees years later I went through a divorce so them I needed the job! I met my current husband 9 years ago, married and have been happy since. My job has been the only thing that hasn’t been fulfilling and made me unhappy, wanting more, something different. Last January, after multiple conversations with my husband, who has seen how unhappy I’ve been offered for me to quite my job!! He could just put me and my kids on his health and dental insurance and I could quit and take my time figuring out who I am and what I want to do! This is how great and wonderful of a husband I have! Yes it would decrease our income, but he was so tired of me being unhappy. He’s been in the same job for almost 22 years and loves his job and he’s good at what he does and makes a very good living doing it. So I turned my resignation letter in on jan 16th, 2012 and I was off work for 7 months and had a great summer! From jan-aug we took 2 vacations, just the 2 of us and 1 family vacation. But I needed to get back to work! I had been that stay at home wife and mother again but with no kids at home!! And you can only clean and organize your house so much! I went to work for a big private sector company, before I worked in state government and working private sector has been great! I still haven’t found the tricks of being a working wife and mom but I’m working at it each day! I never thought being a wife and mom would be so rewarding, even though my family maynot recognize and admit how much they need and appreciate everything I do for them I know that they are thankful. Just being able to send my kids to college and watch them grow up as good, decent, respectful adults makes what I have sacrificed all worth it! I’m not even40 yet, although this is the year I do, I still feel like I have some time left to figure out who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life!! 

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:27 am #

      That’s a wonderful story! It is nice to hear of good relationship & fulfilling dreams like that, sounds like an amazing husband! I am thankful to have a husband that understands I need breaks, that says it’s okay for the kids to watch a movie when I’m tired & to take them when I want to get away for a weekend! I really can’t complain, & yet I do.. ugh But I also forget about the future & that I will have opportunities to do things later & my kids are only young once. Thank you for your comment & encouragement!

  9. Joyce January 22, 2013 at 2:50 pm #

    Your children will not always be there. They will grow up and go away sooner than you think. That fire will still be there when they do. Set the stage now though. Think about what you could do to get you there when the time comes. That said, your children are your investment. They will be with you until the end of time. Above all, don’t let discouragement rule. Enjoy the ride!

    • Natalia January 22, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

      Thank you so much! That really is great encouragement. Setting the stage now but invest in my children. It really is a new concept for me because I always feel like I need to do everything now. Thanks!

  10. Amanda January 22, 2013 at 6:11 pm #

    Honestly, most of my life I didn’t see being a stay at home mom or a homemaker as an option. It didn’t qualify as a career to me. I knew I wanted to do something exciting, like be a fashion designer, or work for a magazine. Then right around the age of 20 my heart changed and the whole SAHM mom thing started to be my desire but I still thought I’d at least have a family friendly job. By the end of university I wanted to be a full time homemaker but was a little insecure to admit it. I have one baby and some days I really feel like I’m living the dream, and most days I feel blessed. I love so much about it and try to apply all my creative talents and interests. But I still long for more personal time and sometimes think working full time would be more up my alley. I think I can understand where you’re coming from, and I totally see God using your desires to grow your blog into a thriving business. It’s totally okay and awesome, I just think its always a good idea to keep your hubby and kids the priority…at least from personal experience I know when I do versus when I don’t there’s a big difference in the flow of the home. Things run smoother and I’m less irritable if I put them first. Anyways, be encouraged, I really think God is for your dreams and made you that way for a reason. 

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:19 am #

      Thank you for your encouragement! I just wish I could balance everything & do it all! haha but I know my family comes first and everything else will fall into place. Thank you for your comment!

  11. Katie January 22, 2013 at 6:59 pm #

    If you believe that this is where God wants you, then whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might! And if you think that your influence doesn’t stretch very far, imagine the impact you have on your sons, and how they will share that impact with the people they know (and their kids!). You have an awesome ministry on your blog, which is influential in and of itself. VERY influential. It’s the internet for gosh sakes! You are blessing so many women with ’embracing their inner fabulousness’. 

    If you feel insignificant, read the story of Joseph in Genesis. He was the youngest son, sold as a slave in a foreign land, but he ended up saving thousands of people.

    Don’t give up! Bloom where you’re planted. Don’t underestimate how God can use you.

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:15 am #

      Oh I just want to cry, thank you so much for this! Seriously, I just read the story of Joseph to my sons the other night, so perfect. Thank you thank you for your comment, it really means a lot to me. So encouraging!

  12. hilljean January 22, 2013 at 9:18 pm #

    I want to be you when I grow up. You do an excellent job balancing your family, life, and your career. It’s only going to get better and more streamlined as your kiddos get older.

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:11 am #

      Thanks lady, you’re nice. 🙂 I always have to have everything NOW. I need to chill I think… haha

  13. Rebekah January 22, 2013 at 9:28 pm #

    Oh man…you are not alone at all.

    I remember vividly being 8 years old playing “apartment”….not dolls, or house…no, I dreamed of living by myself, being free and alone! Now, at 26 i have been married 6 years, have a 2 yr old and 1 on the way…I wouldn’t trade it for anything!! I swore I would never have kids and now I cannot imagine living without my son. However, I struggle with still wanting to be myself and do things and be able to fully commit to my career. Recently I’ve come to terms with the fact that there is a season for everything. I’m in the mom season right now. My children, my house, my husband…they are my priority currently. I’m very happy with being that person right now because I know this season won’t last forever. Sooner than I’m ready for my kids will be in school and I’ll have more time. Then they will grow up and leave me and I may even be lonely…those are the days when I will be able to fulfill the dreams I may have had to put on hold. But that will all happen in it’s perfect time and season….hope this makes sense I feel like I rambled 🙂 
    By the way, I’ve never commented but been reading your blog for quite some time, I really love it! And your little boys are just precious:)

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:14 am #

      Thank you! You are so nice. And you are so right! I think I get caught up in wanting everything to happen now, the future is too far away. I know I need to be content in my season of life because this is where I am right now. Thank you so much for that reminder. I do love my kids and wouldn’t change them for the world. And seriously I have the best husband for me, he’s amazing & understands my independent streak & does his best to make sure I don’t go crazy! haha Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it!

  14. Mandey January 22, 2013 at 11:17 pm #

    But the thing is…I don’t know if that is the ultimate dream for ANY woman. Everyone wants something more. Not everyone is super independent, wanting to explore the world but everyone searches for a sense of self in all the new roles they play in their life.  If anyone says that their dream is to do laundry-they’re seriously lying to themselves. Although I’d like to be out working, doing something I love, right now there’s something else I get to be in charge of: my family. And on days when I feel like what I’m doing is meaningless and compare myself to younger, single versions of myself who had a life- I focus on trying to run this family like a business. As stay at home moms, we really do run the place. It’s a crap load of responsibility and coordination and all those other important things we think we’re missing out on. 

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:09 am #

      You’re so right. My mom has said that to me but I tend to forget it, run your home like a business. Make it work like a business. Take pride in that. And I do but I let other things get in the way sometimes. I just need to refocus. Oh and my sister-in-law loves laundry, loves being a wife & mom & that’s all she’s ever wanted to be. And I really don’t think she’s lying – it’s crazy. haha Thanks for your input, really, it’s always good to be reminded of the important things!

  15. Katie January 22, 2013 at 11:20 pm #

    Well put and no you’re not alone in that thinking! Sometimes I don’t even know how I got here except by God’s plan because if I had to pick this probably wouldn’t be my life. (not that I don’t love my kids and hubby, but it’s not what I thought) I do have to say that since you’ve started this blog and I’ve been following you and Christie, I have felt more empowered to chase after those “independent” things and give myself a little “love” 🙂 I feel like I’m a better mom and wife when I do something for me, even if it’s for 5 min., it shows. I think we can be both the mom/wife and the traveler/business lady/fashionista etc. Love your heart 🙂

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 4:06 am #

      Thanks Katie! I started the blog for those exact reasons. I mean I was feeling pretty dumpy before, it’s nice to have a little motivation! Maybe a little sad I needed a blog to do that? haha But I totally understand what you’re saying, I wouldn’t have planned this life for me either, I love it, I love my kids & husband, but it is hard sometimes. BUt I guess the grass is always greener if you let it be! Can’t wait to see you!!!!! 🙂

  16. Kym January 23, 2013 at 7:45 am #

    I love you. My heart, thoughts, and understanding are with you 100%. I’m so happy that you received the comments above!! xo

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 8:08 am #

      Thank you! I know you understand on a different level, even if you don’t have kids yet! We lead a very similar life!

  17. January 23, 2013 at 8:49 am #

    Hey Natalia, I’m not sure whatever said above, but obviously you’re far from the only mom who doesn’t want to lose her sense of self and independent passions. I work full-time, blog and freelance write on the side, try to be a good wife and a good mom to two preschoolers. It’s a whole lot. I think what helps is this:
    1. Support – my husband wants me to realize my dream and my mother-in-law is always willing to babysit if need be, 
    2. Encouragement from the online and offline mom community
    3. Organization – I do my freelance stuff on my lunch breaks and at nights after the kids go to bed (not all nights or my husband would be too lonely). If I get a big assignment, I’ll spend weekend time working on it.
    4. Going with the flow – there are times that I am inspired and motivated and super juiced to send out pitches, write blog posts, etc. and I just go with it. I’ll work more on those things when I feel like that. Or, when I have a big assignment that requires a lot of my time and attention. Then there are periods of time when I just need a break from the computer and writing and need to focus attention my husband and home. (Those are generally the things that get neglected when I’m working on my personal pursuits.) Realizing that my energy and focus ebbs and flows and not knocking myself for that has helped.
    5. Easing up on myself – I can expect a lot of myself. I want to be perfect at EVERYTHING and it’s just not possible. I know my priorities – kids, husband, relationships – and then work out from there. I also know that in order for me to be a happy and good mom and wife, I need to pursue my personal goals. So, I have to make time for that and not feel guilty about it.

    I hope that helps! Good luck on your journey Natalia.

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 1:04 pm #

      Thank you Kristi! It is nice to hear practical advice, I appreciate it. I am like oyu in that I want to be perfect all the time & it’s not possible. I do need to ease up a little bit & just go with the flow. I think I do okay balancing, it’s just that I want results and I want them now. I don’t have a lot of patience. But most everyone’s comments were helpful in that those things will come, just keep at it, balance, & it’s okay to have a life & dreams outside of motherhood. Anyway, thanks for your encouragement! I appreciate it!

  18. gigi January 23, 2013 at 10:26 am #

    I think you have it all figured out, even if you don’t think you do, Natalia.

    To say “God has me where I am” shows that you know that there’s a plan out there for you. You may not know what it is yet or where it will lead you.  I believe that being in the moment and embracing the here and now is the best way to keep one’s heart and eyes open to whatever lies ahead.

    I never set out to work in social media when I started blogging. I set out to make a little money, but the twists and turns that were put in front of me led me to more opportunity than I had ever originally imagined for myself. Stay on your path. It’s okay to dream and plan and work for something more. There is nothing wrong with you,a nd you are definitely not alone. But also trust in God’s plan for you, too. I’m sure he has amazing things coming your way. 🙂 xoxo

    • Natalia January 23, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

      Thank you, Gigi! I really appreciate it. I think you might have gotten a little taste of my personality at BBC – I’m a doer, I like to get things done, I want to work & see the accomplishments. I don’t have a lot of patience with myself & it’s harder because I can’t pursue everything I want to like a young single person might be able to. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not young & single, I have kids, this is my reality, & they are a blessing. I can still work hard and progress but it might not be overnight. Thank you for the encouragement to just keep at it. Sometimes I feel like I am getting nowhere. I guess Rome wasn’t built in a day!

  19. Leslie January 23, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    I am one of those crazy gals that always wanted to be a wife and mommy. Iam beyond blessed to have an awesome hubby and 3 beautiful baby boys. Before my first son was born, I was a teacher. I loved being in the classroom, having my students love and listen to my every last word ( they were doting second graders!), and then sending them home at 3 pm! I am using my love of teaching every day with my own children, but, there are definitely days when my heart and mind misses being out of the home, wearing actual clothes, not just yoga pants, and making a paycheck! I think it’s normal for a momma to feel lost in the every day, mundane chores that consume us all. When laundry, discipline, and the terrible twos get me down, I am reminded that I am managing my blessings. This season is short and just that…a season. They begin and end. Our children are small for such a short window. I want to eeeek out every bit! I hope you are encouraged that you are not alone! Your blog and Pinterest has reminded me that I am a woman too! Being in a house of boys can be lonely. I don’t have to give up the lovely, feminine things that make our species the fairer of the pair. 🙂 I am going to make an effort to find time to rediscover me and my thoughts daily. 

    • Natalia January 24, 2013 at 9:02 am #

      Thank you! That was very encouraging! I appreciate hearing from another point of view & thank you for not making me feel bad that I didn’t always want those things. It is nice to hear that even for someone who did still feels a little bit. I was always thinking that if that was all I wanted I’d be fulfilled and forever happy. But is a constant balance, isn’t it? I am in a house of boys too, which I love and wouldn’t change for anything, but you’re right, it’s hard! And hard to even be motivated to get out of the yoga pants! Thank you for your encouragement, I appreciate it!

  20. Jennifer Ford Berry January 24, 2013 at 5:55 am #


    I totally agree with Gigi. As moms I think we (unfortunately) sometimes feel like we can’t win. We either give it ALL to our family and wish we can something for ourselves. OR we get something for ourselves and feel guilty because we should be spending more time with our family! I personally am #2 right now! LOL You have something special inside of you and I have a gut feeling big things are coming your way so keep being passionate about life and it will all fall in place. God has it covere 🙂

    • Natalia January 24, 2013 at 8:41 am #

      Thank you Jennifer, I really appreciate it! You are so encouraging. I totally agree too, there’s got to be more of a balance! Here’s to working to finding it! 🙂

  21. alisha January 24, 2013 at 8:10 am #

    Hi Natalia 🙂 I love your blog and enjoy all your fabulous hair tips..I hope you keep your hair a ;little long I enjoy all your style tutorials! Just also wanted to suggest a fantastic book called Desperate all about being a Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. It is so encouraging and it has really lifted my spirits and I know it will do the same for any momma. Keep up the post I love reading about your life in Paris and your apartment pics are soo fun to see. Thanks for sharing. Alisha Hickey

    • Natalia January 24, 2013 at 8:43 am #

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate that, you’re so sweet! I will have to look into that book, I’ve never heard of it. But it sounds good! Thanks so much for the suggestion!

  22. Nikki at Bedazzles After Dark January 26, 2013 at 5:37 am #

    I hope you know how much I appreciated this post!!!! This is often how I feel too. I never dreamed of being someone’s wife or someone’s mom. I’m not even sure that I want kids. And since I am an honest person this always comes up in conversation. People then look at me like I have three heads. It’s sooooo nice to know that I don’t feel alone in these thoughts! Thanks for your honesty and for putting a bit of yourself out there Natalia!! 🙂
    Nikki at

    • Natalia January 26, 2013 at 7:18 am #

      I totally understand what you mean. I mean, I already have kids & my first was unexpected, but if I didn’t I always think I wonder if I would have got the bug or not. I know eventually I would have wanted them, but not so soon. Either way, I have them now & love them, just trying to find a balance! Definitely enjoy not having kids while you don’t have them so if you ever do get to that point you’ll feel ready! Or as ready as you can feel, since you’re never not entirely ready! 🙂

  23. Tiffany January 30, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

    I feel you! I continue to struggle to find the right path for me. I was utterly shocked and dismayed to discover that I didn’t enjoy being a full-time working mom after having my first.

    So we moved mountains (and literally moved) so that I could stay home.

    And then I learned that I didn’t like that, either. Finding that happy place, that “balance” between being a mom and domestic executive, both of which I NEVER daydreamed about, and exercising my brain muscle for a greater good beyond my nuclear unit, is tough. But that’s part of why I love being a blogger and reading other blogs, because so many of us are out there trying to find a new way. 

    • Natalia January 31, 2013 at 9:29 am #

      Yep, it’s all about balance! And all of us trying to find our own! Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it!

  24. POMERETA January 31, 2013 at 7:24 am #

    I guess the secret is that there is no secret. Every single woman is different but we all want to be good mums and good wifes, there was not much option in the past but in our days circumstances have changed: we go to collage, we study, we became professionals, we are economically independent and we like it, nothing wrong in there! But when kids appear in the picture… we still want to be that woman we were but we feel guilty of leaving our kids, what to do? FIND YOUR OWN BALANCE, what works for you, what makes you happy, because when you are happy your family is happy too. We tend to put our sons and daughters 1st and forget who we are but we really should find a place and a time for us too. I am 34 and my mum always worked (she still does), me and my sister never felt anything was missing and now that I’m expecting myself I really admire her and keep wondering how she did it…

    • Natalia January 31, 2013 at 9:28 am #

      I agree! Thank you so much for your input, it’s really encouraging!

  25. Lara March 17, 2013 at 4:03 am #

    I just found you via Hilary at Because My Life is Fascinating. I just wanted to chime in here and say that I could have written this post. Every word. So, no, you are most definitely not alone. This is the main reason why I started my little blog a few months ago — to find some kind of space for myself – to connect and be inspired. Of course, I started blogging about my kids b/c that’s all I had been immersed in for a while, BUT I’m so inspired by all you blogesses that I hope my site will grow into something bigger, something MORE, not just a place to write about mothering but a place to inspire. Thank you for being one of the inspiring ones.

  26. Lara March 17, 2013 at 4:15 am #

    Oh, one more thing. I think it’s good for our kids to see us pursuing other passions. When my brother and I were little my mom would sit at her typewriter for hours in the middle of the night trying to become a published author. When I was maybe 12 or so her first book was published. She’s now one of the most successful and well known children’s poets in the US. She’s a huge inspiration to me. I love that she has this other life and successful career. It really drives me to want to succeed at anything I set my mind to.

    • Natalia March 18, 2013 at 7:58 am #

      Thank you for your input! I appreciate it! So neat about your mom. It’s funny, my mom worked from home for the first probably 5-10 years of our lives but always did it when we were sleeping, before we got up. I never really got to see how hard she worked & didn’t really understand it until becoming a mom myself and now trying to balance it all. Then she worked out of the home after that but was always there for us.

      I actually started my blog & specifically tried not to talk about my kids! haha I wanted a space for me, somewhere I could come that my kids hadn’t invaded yet. Something girlie too having a household of men! It’s been such a blessing in ways I didn’t even know were possible. So you can do it too! Thank you for your kind words, I am glad you find it inspiring!

  27. Tracy June 8, 2015 at 2:11 am #

    Hi Natalia, I have visited your blog a few times now – you are a beautiful, inspiring woman! Your open honesty throughout your posts has reminded me to take the time to be my own person. I have four children ranging in age from 15 to 10 years and work part time. I remember when the kids were younger, I loved being at home with them, but I felt inadequate as a person – I craved to be… more. So when a job opportunity presented itself, I jumped on it. That job evolved, so I was continuously challenged. I felt great – I had more in my life, and I didn’t feel like all I had to talk about was my kids. Yes, at times I questioned my priorities – I didn’t get to watch my kids at athletics day, or participating in inter-school tournaments, but I think they have always respected what I do (I teach 3-4 year olds) and why, and has meant that I’ve always been ready to commit big time to everything their interests outside of my working hours (which is sports, sports, sports!). Fast forward 7 years, and I’m still working part time, my children are older and their needs have changed (amazing how much driving you do when you have four children playing a multitude of sports and attending two different schools!), and I would love to be at home all day, pottering around! I guess because our family life is quite a whirlwind (school, work and sports, sports, sports!!!), I now crave the simplicity of chilling at home. So I’ve done a complete 360! I don’t think I would have ever felt content to just be home with the family if I hadn’t fulfilled my need to have a job! I guess the message I’m trying to get across is that we are led by our needs and desires, there has to be a reason we have them – and that is how our lives unfold, that is how we become who we are, and that is how we continue to flourish as people on this journey of life. Family, first and foremost, above and beyond… but to be able to give the best of ourselves to those whom we love and cherish, we need to take care of ourselves too – whether it’s going for a run, getting a facial, coffee with the girls, going to work, playing the guitar, date night with hubby… whatever nourishes the soul (you know that feeling of being full up?). Finding the balance and then keeping it through change (life is ever changing, we are ever changing) so that we can continue to ‘be’ without everything falling apart is what keeps us reflecting on what makes us feel like we are living the dream! Follow your heart – it will lead you to where you’re meant to be 🙂

    • Natalia June 12, 2015 at 8:30 am #

      Thank you so much for sharing your story and your kind words, that is encouraging! I completely understand although I have yet to come full circle 🙂 But I definitely see how that can be appealing! I completely agree about taking time for ourselves and finding the balance, it’s mostly why I write here! Anyway, thanks again, so encouraging to read your comment!


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