Okay. So I have a foreign experience I want to share with you. Mostly because it’s funny. It’s embarrassing. It is soooo not American. And I thought you might get a good laugh! Last week I went to an appointment here in France. It’s called epilation here, but for us English speakers, it’s just plain gettin’ waxed.
Now, this wasn’t my first experience, but somehow it is not something I have gotten used to. I guess I would be considered a prude American. Let me try to share with you about my experience without making anyone too uncomfortable… you’ll see what I mean.
Oh, and guys, if you’re out there, this one’s for the ladies… I’m pretty sure you won’t be interested.
So, I get waxed about once a month, when I am on top of making appointments, etc. I usually get my eyebrows, upper lip (keepin’ it real ladies!), and my bikini waxed. Now, if we were in America, I would walk in and the specialist would ask me if I want some water or anything and then exit the room while I get down to my skimmies. There would be a towel waiting for me on the table so I could cover up and not feel so uncomfortable. She would come back in and proceed to put gloves on and start with my eyebrows.
Now, the only thing about the above paragraph that rings true about the experience here in France is that they start with the eyebrows. Here, this is a little more how it would look.
The specialist would lead me into the room and shut the door. She would tell me to get undressed and then turn to wash her hands. What? You’re not going to step out? Um, ok. I would proceed to take off my bottoms and be standing there in my skimmies. She would turn around and say that I should take those off too. Um, ok… Is there a towel or something to cover up? I quickly scan the room. Looks like I am outta luck. Okay, I am standing here in just a shirt. This is interesting. She tells me to lay on the little bed/table thingie. So she proceeds with my eyebrows, without gloves. That’s pretty normal from what I remember from the states. Okay, that’s fine. They use a hard wax that rips off without applying paper. Which means at any given time you could have 3 or 4 strips just on your body. She finishes the eyebrows, moves on to the upper lip. Pretty easy, I’m okay. Trying not to think about the fact that I am lying in front of a stranger half naked. Next time I have got to remember to wear a longer shirt!
She finishes up the upper lip and proceeds to move toward my lower region. Okay, so she’ll put on gloves now, right? I mean, that would be pretty gnarly waxing a complete stranger down there with no gloves. Wait, is that the wax? She still doesn’t have gloves on! Um, okay, I guess we’re just doing this! Good thing I showered! For her sake anyway. She puts two strips of wax on and then the door opens. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I am lying here half naked with heated wax strips on my coochie (sorry) and someone just walks in??? My specialist tells me one second and LEAVES. I am lying there, alone, with wax strips down there, and no one to pull them off. This should be interesting.
About what felt like 30 minutes later (but was probably 2) she comes back in to yank ’em off. I am happy to find out she stays the rest of the time and no one else barges in to ‘check on my progress’ or whatever. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say there was wax in places it’s never been before. And I was in positions that now only hubs and French waxing lady have seen. Yet, somehow I make it through. Amen and amen. Can I put my pants back on now? THANK YOU!
Oh, and did I mention, this was all done while conversing in French. And let’s just say, it isn’t my first language. Awkward small talk while laying there half naked is a bit more awkward when you are searching for words in your very limited vocab.
Needless to say, it was quite an experience!! I really did try to spare you the agonizing details. I wasn’t sure whether or not to blog about it, so I threw it out there on twitter and the overwhelming response was to do it!
Well, now it’s your turn! Ever been in an embarrassing situation like that before? Spill the beans!! Or you can just laugh. That’s okay too.